I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
