I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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