I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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