I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
