There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
