she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
