this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
