Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
