It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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