yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
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Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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