We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude i'm inner monologue high
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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