I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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