Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
