i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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