So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You ruined the universe
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
