so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
