I just made out with a guy for $7.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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