We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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