I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
