trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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