Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Couch. On fire.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
