Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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