He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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