yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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