if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
