i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
