so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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