Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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