Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
