If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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