I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I will be naked everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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