Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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