so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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