She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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