if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.