I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.