what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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