he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.