Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend

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  (914): saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend http://tfl.nu/5l48
  Replies (5) Good night (1349) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.

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  (918): She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in. http://tfl.nu/ogcc
  Replies (59) Good night (7985) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.

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  (785): There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob. http://tfl.nu/pwq0
  Replies (26) Good night (4487) Bad night (2296) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Get out now.

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  (301): If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me? (513): Get out now. http://tfl.nu/w3kk
  Replies (57) Good night (8010) Bad night (2388)
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  (951): View more from California

  My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.

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  (951): My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit. http://tfl.nu/s2aa
  Replies (33) Good night (10401) Bad night (1153) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.

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  (937): This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/352a
  Replies (25) Good night (1077) Bad night (5013) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.

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  (516): the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it. http://tfl.nu/0mw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1998) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.

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  (940): Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses. http://tfl.nu/a1yl
  Replies (11) Good night (3510) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.

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  (913): If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out. http://tfl.nu/0a1m
  Replies (15) Good night (3053) Bad night (727)
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  (646): View more from New York

  last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good

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  (646): last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good http://tfl.nu/h7gj
  Replies (16) Good night (1820) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.

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  (717): i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me. http://tfl.nu/i878
  Replies (7) Good night (1165) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I can feel my liver begging me to stop.

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  (479): I can feel my liver begging me to stop. http://tfl.nu/j2ah
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won

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  (774): Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won http://tfl.nu/tslf
  Replies (10) Good night (1234) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.

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  (509): Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs. http://tfl.nu/0hn1
  Replies (6) Good night (735) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.

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  (801): Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight. http://tfl.nu/rr81
  Replies (10) Good night (722) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt

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