I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
