i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
