Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Terrible idea I love it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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