I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
