She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
