it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
