We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
