your parents love me but you hate me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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