the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
