just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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