girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You are a genius and a whore.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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