If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
