i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
