I didn't shave. On purpose
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
