Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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