**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
