forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
