oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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