She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
