Old men and throwing up are my life now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
