you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
