all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
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