addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
